Pre-Marriage Counseling Seminar (Part 1)
One of the basic requirements in applying for a Marriage License in the Philippines is to attend a friggin’ Pre-Marriage Counseling Seminar which at this point, to be honest with you I completely have no idea what the whole thing is about but I am assuming that it has something to do with Family Planning.
Looking at the country’s population growth between 1950 and 2018, it is quite evident that this whole Pre-Marriage Counseling Seminar is a complete load of crap.
Anyway, I’m here again to talk about my most recent experience trying to register for the said seminar. My partner and I found ourselves once again on our way to the Local Civil Registrar. We headed straight to the desk of the official who is responsible for, I don’t know, accepting the requirements for a Marriage License. Because what else can anyone do with a bunch of legal documents on their desk aside from accepting them?
The woman was in her late 50’s or at least that’s what she looked like. I asked her if there is any chance for us to skip the whole Pre-Marriage Counseling Seminar since my fiancee is Japanese and probably gives no flying fuck about what the speakers will have to say in the seminar because she won’t understand most of it anyway. Plus she’s 28 and I am 30, what else is left for us to learn about family planning?
“No” she said with a smile on her face but not the type of smile that you would give a customer to tell them that “No, sorry we can’t do anything about whatever it is you’re complaining about. Go fuck yourself”. It was the kind of an apologetic smile. The one that your grandmother would give you after telling you why you couldn’t have chocolate cake for dinner.
She then referred us to the people whose job is to accept registrations for the seminar. Good thing it was just in the next building, just a few meters away. I asked Linda, that’s her name, the same exact thing and she gave us the same answer. We didn’t have any choice but to attend the stupid thing. She gave us a form for us to fill out and she said that the next available schedule will be on September 14th.
“You gotta be fucking kidding” I said to myself. I begged her to please give us a much earlier schedule because were kind of in a rush to get things done explaining to her that we need to have all the necessary documents ready for my application for a Spouse Visa. Unfortunately for me though, Linda was an absolute cunt.
“Whose balls do I have to fondle around here to get us an earlier schedule?” God, I was desperate and was willing to do just about anything. She told me to talk to Eva. A woman who is also in her mid or late 50’s and missing a couple of teeth.
I waited for her for at least half an hour in front of her desk.
“Thank you sweet baby Jesus”
I uttered when she finally came into the office, waddling around because she’s a bit on the big side. Okay, maybe more than just a bit. Like she’s about to cross the border to “morbidly-obese-ville”.
I immediately got off my ass and spoke to her in my most boyishly charming way, explained our situation, asked for an earlier schedule and explained why we needed it. Good thing Eva was nice enough to consider unlike Linda who was an absolute cunt who kept on insisting that it should be on September 14th even after I explained to her why needed an earlier schedule.
A few minutes later, Eva told me that the earliest that she can give us is an August 21 schedule. I reluctantly accepted and gave her the form that Linda handed to us along with the proof of payment (100 pesos). She then put in our names in their record, got back to me and told me that we’ll be attending the seminar on August 14th.
Great!
We then gathered our stuff and thanked both Linda (cunt) and Eva on our way out.
The Pre-Marriage Counseling Seminar is the only thing that is left for us to accomplish to finally get our Marriage License.
I’ll tell you guys more about it.
